|Season 6, Episode 23|
|Air date||31 Mar. 1988|
|Written by||Ken Levine & David Isaacs|
|Directed by||James Burrows|
Slumber Party Massacred
The Big Kiss-Off
The 2nd of the Bar Wars series !
The gang at Cheers celebrates the 2 year anniversary of their bowling victory over Gary's Old Town Tavern ! But when Gary arranges to have their trophy stolen, it's an all out prank war between Cheers & Gary's.
- Ted Danson as Sam Malone
- Kirstie Alley as Rebecca Howe
- Rhea Perlman as Carla Tortelli
- John Ratzenberger as Cliff Clavin
- George Wendt as Norm Peterson
- Woody Harrelson as Woody Boyd
- Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane
Recurring / Guest stars:
- Bebe Neuwirth as Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane
- Robert Desiderio as Gary
- Wade Boggs as Himself
- Tom Rosqui as Jensen (customer, wife's in hospital)
- Greg Collins as Exterminator #1
- Phil Morris as Exterminator #2
- Al Rosen as Al
- Tim Cunningham as Tim
Rebecca comes in announcing that she has just returned from a "self-assertiveness" class, she enters to Cliff's "5-4-3-2-1" countdown and an uproarious "cheer" from the staff and patrons of Cheers. She demands to know what the celebration is about or she will cry. Sam informs her that the celebration pertains to the 2 year anniversary of their bowling win against Gary's Olde Towne Tavern in From Beer to Eternity. Sam explains that Cheers has "lost 173-1, but we are currently on a winning streak" to their rival Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. After the "Ceremonial Call", in which Sam explains to Gary that "We waxed your hieney", they notice that the trophy is missing and it's obvious that Gary is responsible; so Sam takes Woody, "someone young in case things get rough", Woody jumps up on the bar, breaking a beer mug and floundering a bit before reaching the floor, while trying to get out from behind the bar. Sam and Woody return shortly with two broken pieces of the bowling trophy. Rebecca points out that Cheers beat Gary's in one category "maturity", to a sudden slew of raspberries, cat-calls, arm-pumps and other shouts.
In retaliation, Sam and Carla go to Gary's pub with several bottles of champagne, in hopes of displaying their superior "maturity", even pouring it for Gary and several of his patrons. However Gary claims to have sent a dozen roses to Cheers, as they speak. When the champagne misses their lips and covers their shirts, Carla smugly gloats to Gary that someone may have 'snuck in and replaced their crystal' (wine-glass). Gary claims to be disappointed in "how weenie this stunt was", and even Al concurs with Gary's assessment, that this trick was sub-par, "pretty weenie".
The Cheers gang mix prune juice into Gary's Kahlúa, pour sneezing powder into a bar vent, and Rebecca even awards Norm for waxing Gary's bar stools. Accidentally Cliff, Norm, Pete and Steve harass an innocent, new Cheers patron (Tom Rosqui) and then sit on shorter bar stools, sawed-off by Gary's people.
Rebecca meets Gary, who seems to apologize and flatter her, "Oh finally something in this place worth looking at", as they set up a coffee date; only to find a small herd of sheep in her office.
In retaliation, Carla 'taps' Gary's new satellite TV feed, replacing it with a recording of Norm and Cliff reciting Dante Gabriel Rosetti poetry and advertising a Cheers' drink special.
Gary relents and calls off the war, sending Red Sox star, Wade Boggs to make the announcement. Assuming Boggs to be an impostor, the Cheers patrons drive him off and de-pants him off-screen, only to fleece his wallet and discover that he was indeed Wade Boggs!
Trivia & NotesEdit
The bowling victory the gang talks about refers to the tournament in Season 4's 9th Episode From Beer to Eternity.
"Wade Boggs mistress Margot Adams wrote an expose piece in Playboy a coupe years later, detailing their affair. In her article she mentions how thrilled they were to be on Cheers up because it meant a free trip to Los Angeles and a 3 day tryst.
In the article, Margot also maintains that Boggs asked her for a pair of panties, as he had promised his teammates that he could come back with Kirstie Alley’s panties.
Ken Levine explains, "I was on the stage when Kirstie read this. Her expression was priceless. Kirstie was very cool about stuff like that. From then on I would occasionally say to her, “Listen, Kirstie, I’m going to my high school reunion and at graduation I promised the guys that I would bring a pair of your panties to the reunion so if you wouldn’t mind…?” She always laughed and then told me to go fuck myself."
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