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Every time Norm enters the bar, everyone greets him by name, “Norm!” followed by Diane saying Norman. In each episode, a patron asks how life is treating him, and Norm’s answer is usually a self-deprecating one-liner:

  • E1: What do you know? “Not enough.”
  • E2: Beer, Norm? “Hey, I’ve heard of that stuff. Better give me a tall one in case I like it.”
  • E3: How are you doin’, Norm? “Ah, cut the small talk and gimme a beer.”
  • E4: How’s life treatin’ you, Norm? “Like I just ran over its dog.”
  • E5: Norm! “Gentlemen, start your tabs.”
  • E6: How’s life treating you, Norm? “Like it caught me in bed with its wife.”
  • E7: How’s life, Norm? “Not for the squeamish, Coach.”
  • E8: How’s it going, Norm? “Daddy’s rich and Mama’s good-looking.”
  • E9: What’s up, Norm? “My nipples. It’s freezing out there.”
  • E10: What’s the story, Norm? “Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.”
  • E11: What are you up to, Norm? “My ears.” Do you want a beer, Norm? “Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?”
  • E12: What’s new, Norm? “Most of my wife.”
  • E13: You want a beer, Norm? “Nah, I’d probably just drink it.”
  • E14: Whatcha doin, Norm? “Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig.”
  • E17: Beer, Norm? “That’s that sudsy amber stuff, right? Yeah, I hear good things about it.”
  • E20: What’ll it be, Norm? “Fame, fortune, fast women.” How about a beer? “Even better.”
  • E22: How are you, Norm? “On top of the world. It’s a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere.”